Spring-boarding from a Place of Shame

I’ll admit it – I’m ashamed.  I’m ashamed of my past, the decisions I’ve made, the things I’ve done.  I’m ashamed of the things I still do and the thoughts I continue to think.  I have shame and it holds me back.

I love myself and sometimes the shame gets the best of me.  Am I the only one who thinks this way?  Am I the only person in my circle who has feelings that can’t be shared?  Sometimes, I think I am.

So, I step into sharing.  With close friends and people I trust, I step into vulnerability and take a risk.  I tell them what I’m thinking, I share my deepest feelings.  And you know what?  They actually understand.

They have these thoughts too – not all the same, but similar.  I think we all do, but nobody wants to talk about them.

People don’t want to share because they may be rejected, laughed at, ridiculed.  They fear that people will leave and they’ll be left alone.  In my mind, that is what I fear.

If I’m too open, honest, direct, vulnerable and open – will they leave me?  Will I be alone?  Am I enough?

I AM enough and so are you.  If we take time to really open ourselves up to people in this world, we’ll see that humans are all very similar.  We all have ‘stuff’ that we are ashamed of – stuff we don’t want anyone to know.

We all struggle with feelings of not being enough, of being ashamed, of fear.

It doesn’t matter how strong, tough and put together you are – you have fears.  Fears are normal.  They are a part of us.  When we share them, it releases their power over us.  We become free because we learn that other people struggle with the same things.

If they laugh, ridicule or choose out, it is only because they can‘t admit their own stuff.  They know they have it and don’t want to go there.  Vulnerability creates space for others to be vulnerable.  When two souls choose to dig deep and share their deepest, darkest stuff, they can exist in the same space and continue on together.  When they don’t, someone has to leave.  Will it be you who chooses out or will it be them?

In my experience, vulnerability is a strength so I choose to stay and be open.  If they leave, there will be others who will join me.